Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood...

This past week I realized that I am currently standing at the proverbial life crossroads I have been warned about all of my life. Being the life-long resenter of responsibilities that I am, these crossroads are definitely not something I am enjoying. Allow me to explain my situation first.

First: MY MAJOR
Not long ago, I had a conversation with my friend Savannah Damschen from high school about how crappy it is for people to tell us that we can take our time trying to figure out what we want to study because it's simply is not true. The longer we take to figure it out, the more money we spend. And THAT is the truth. The first major in my college career that I thought I would like was History. I'm not even going to go into the details on that, but essentially History is one of those majors that you reeeaally can't do anything with once you graduate. Plan aborted. Next: Humanities. This is the track that my classes would indicate that I am still on. When people asked me what I thought about my major, I told them that I loved it and that it was perfect for me. Turns out I was lying to them and myself. One morning I woke up, needing to get to my Humanities class. In the midst of the hairspray, clothes and makeup, the realization dawned on me that I absolute detest humanities. I hate the classes, I hate the subject matter, and I hate the testing lab. So here I am, a Junior at BYU, major-less. How bleak. Currently, I am thinking that Communications with an emphasis in PR would be good, but let's face it, I have no idea. And I'm running out of time.

Second: Mission/No Mission
I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I have wanted to go on a mission all of my life. Only recently (as in the past few months) is this something that I've gotten excited about. Lately though, as I seriously consider it, my conviction to go changes from hour to hour. I'm not sure, but I think I should be a bit more sure about this decision before I plunge head-long into it...

Third: $$$
I decided awhile ago that I want to be financially independent from my parents. Right now, they pay what's left of my tuition after my Leo Adler scholarship does its job. I am very grateful to my parents for helping me to pursue an education, but I'm at the point in my life where I just need to take care of myself, I think.

Fourth: School vs. Work (And other things...)
In order for me to become financially independent, I need to be able to support myself. At this point, I can't pay for the upcoming semester by myself. Along with this is the fact that in order to get into the Communications program, I want to have less than 75 credits, which I am very close to. So what I'm thinking right now is that I want to go to school part-time, work at the Telefund, get another job, and raise enough money to be able to pay for myself to go to school full-time for Fall Semester 2009.

In the midst of chewing over all of these issues, I remembered a Robert Frost poem (likely from one of my now-worthless Humanities classes) about making decisions:

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost

Honestly though, I really don't see any solutions in there. Thanks, Rob. Thanks a lot.

Carmex, Blistex, and Brandon Bailey

In my lifetime I have tried many brands of lip products, but I have never found anything to compare with Carmex. I love the way it smells, how tingly it is, how lightweight it is, and how healthy it makes my lips look. Plus, it's really cheap. And guys can use it as well. Which reminds me of an incident involving my friend Brandon Bailey... Okay story time. One night Brandon called me raving about this new chapstick he had bought that his sister had recommended to him. Apparently, he said, it makes your lips silky smooth. I asked him what kind it was and he responded that it was Blistex Lip Infusion. This was actually a product that I was familiar with, so I paused before breaking his heart and informing him that Blistex Lip Infusion is really a lip gloss and only to be worn by men who wish they were women. Brandon adamantly disagreed and a few moments later showed up on our doorstep to prove me wrong, his lips gleaming and glistening in the light. After much hysterical laughter and an examination in front of the mirror, he conceded and gave it to me. Shoot we had some good times last year. I miss it!

Classical Civilization

Boring. Never take it.

My Blog for Hannah Shirley

Don't go to Scotland. They are heathens.
I want you here in Provo, safe in my arms.

What I Live For

I love this place. I don't even think 'love' is a strong enough word. The only thing that I don't like is that I have not personally met Cecil O. because I am his biggest fan.

My Life as a Bookworm

Today I went through some of the boxes in my attic looking for some books I had used freshman year. In my search, I happened upon a boxful of the many books I had read as a kid. During 4th and 5th grades in particular, I loved to read. To the point where it was a bit unhealthy. You see, my family had moved from Roy, Utah to Baker City, Oregon and being a bit shy, I had virtually no friends during the first few years. In lieu of social interaction, I read everything (with a sub-junior high reading level) I could get my hands on. My favorites were the Baby-Sitter's Club series. Looking through the boxes, I found more than 50 different books written by Anne M. Martin. I was shocked not by the number, but by the fact that I could recall the specific plot of each story. Isn't it sad that I can remember Mary Anne's boyfriend's name (Logan) and Stacy's favorite store in New York City (Bloomingdale's) but not the phases of Mitosis from freshman year or even my class schedule from a few semesters back? I hate that I don't read as voraciously as I used to. I have an obsession with Barnes & Noble and purchase a new book virtually every time I go, but rarely do I find a book that I enjoy as completely as I did when I was a little kid. I wonder why that is. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that reading has become a chore now that I'm in college and I dread having to take time out of my day to read assignments for class. Maybe if I viewed my college readings in the same way that I did Nancy Drew mysteries, The Boxcar Children series, or the Babysitter's Club I would get a lot more out of my education. Wow, I think I just walked myself into an epiphany. That is going to be my goal for upcoming semester, to be excited for my readings. And since my major is Humanities and so much of what I read is literature, I think it should work out pretty well. We'll see how it goes though. I am secretly excited for school to start again. I love starting over.

Awwwkwwward

As mentioned in my post from last night, I am sitting in a bedroom at Loraina's sister's retired parents-in-law's house. What makes this so awkward? The fact that Loraina is at work. I have heard them moving around upstairs and outside of my room for the past hour and a half, but can't muster up the willpower to leave my fortress and face them. Turns out I'm not as much of a people-person as I thought...Which is bad right now in particular because I really have to pee. Which reminds me. I think I might have diabetes.
Also, I hate waiting! This is completely unrelated to what I was just saying, but waiting is the worst. People always ask me why my ideas for things to do are so last minute. The answer is simple: to cut the waiting time down as much as possible. I like the amount of time between the idea and the idea's execution to be very small.
Well, I guess I should go ahead and leave now. I can't stay in here all day. Too bad...