This past week I realized that I am currently standing at the proverbial life crossroads I have been warned about all of my life. Being the life-long resenter of responsibilities that I am, these crossroads are definitely not something I am enjoying. Allow me to explain my situation first.
First: MY MAJOR
Not long ago, I had a conversation with my friend Savannah Damschen from high school about how crappy it is for people to tell us that we can take our time trying to figure out what we want to study because it's simply is not true. The longer we take to figure it out, the more money we spend. And THAT is the truth. The first major in my college career that I thought I would like was History. I'm not even going to go into the details on that, but essentially History is one of those majors that you reeeaally can't do anything with once you graduate. Plan aborted. Next: Humanities. This is the track that my classes would indicate that I am still on. When people asked me what I thought about my major, I told them that I loved it and that it was perfect for me. Turns out I was lying to them and myself. One morning I woke up, needing to get to my Humanities class. In the midst of the hairspray, clothes and makeup, the realization dawned on me that I absolute detest humanities. I hate the classes, I hate the subject matter, and I hate the testing lab. So here I am, a Junior at BYU, major-less. How bleak. Currently, I am thinking that Communications with an emphasis in PR would be good, but let's face it, I have no idea. And I'm running out of time.
Second: Mission/No Mission
I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I have wanted to go on a mission all of my life. Only recently (as in the past few months) is this something that I've gotten excited about. Lately though, as I seriously consider it, my conviction to go changes from hour to hour. I'm not sure, but I think I should be a bit more sure about this decision before I plunge head-long into it...
I decided awhile ago that I want to be financially independent from my parents. Right now, they pay what's left of my tuition after my Leo Adler scholarship does its job. I am very grateful to my parents for helping me to pursue an education, but I'm at the point in my life where I just need to take care of myself, I think.
Fourth: School vs. Work (And other things...)
In order for me to become financially independent, I need to be able to support myself. At this point, I can't pay for the upcoming semester by myself. Along with this is the fact that in order to get into the Communications program, I want to have less than 75 credits, which I am very close to. So what I'm thinking right now is that I want to go to school part-time, work at the Telefund, get another job, and raise enough money to be able to pay for myself to go to school full-time for Fall Semester 2009.
In the midst of chewing over all of these issues, I remembered a Robert Frost poem (likely from one of my now-worthless Humanities classes) about making decisions:
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Honestly though, I really don't see any solutions in there. Thanks, Rob. Thanks a lot.