What I Live For

I love this place. I don't even think 'love' is a strong enough word. The only thing that I don't like is that I have not personally met Cecil O. because I am his biggest fan.

My Life as a Bookworm

Today I went through some of the boxes in my attic looking for some books I had used freshman year. In my search, I happened upon a boxful of the many books I had read as a kid. During 4th and 5th grades in particular, I loved to read. To the point where it was a bit unhealthy. You see, my family had moved from Roy, Utah to Baker City, Oregon and being a bit shy, I had virtually no friends during the first few years. In lieu of social interaction, I read everything (with a sub-junior high reading level) I could get my hands on. My favorites were the Baby-Sitter's Club series. Looking through the boxes, I found more than 50 different books written by Anne M. Martin. I was shocked not by the number, but by the fact that I could recall the specific plot of each story. Isn't it sad that I can remember Mary Anne's boyfriend's name (Logan) and Stacy's favorite store in New York City (Bloomingdale's) but not the phases of Mitosis from freshman year or even my class schedule from a few semesters back? I hate that I don't read as voraciously as I used to. I have an obsession with Barnes & Noble and purchase a new book virtually every time I go, but rarely do I find a book that I enjoy as completely as I did when I was a little kid. I wonder why that is. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that reading has become a chore now that I'm in college and I dread having to take time out of my day to read assignments for class. Maybe if I viewed my college readings in the same way that I did Nancy Drew mysteries, The Boxcar Children series, or the Babysitter's Club I would get a lot more out of my education. Wow, I think I just walked myself into an epiphany. That is going to be my goal for upcoming semester, to be excited for my readings. And since my major is Humanities and so much of what I read is literature, I think it should work out pretty well. We'll see how it goes though. I am secretly excited for school to start again. I love starting over.

Awwwkwwward

As mentioned in my post from last night, I am sitting in a bedroom at Loraina's sister's retired parents-in-law's house. What makes this so awkward? The fact that Loraina is at work. I have heard them moving around upstairs and outside of my room for the past hour and a half, but can't muster up the willpower to leave my fortress and face them. Turns out I'm not as much of a people-person as I thought...Which is bad right now in particular because I really have to pee. Which reminds me. I think I might have diabetes.
Also, I hate waiting! This is completely unrelated to what I was just saying, but waiting is the worst. People always ask me why my ideas for things to do are so last minute. The answer is simple: to cut the waiting time down as much as possible. I like the amount of time between the idea and the idea's execution to be very small.
Well, I guess I should go ahead and leave now. I can't stay in here all day. Too bad...

H-O-T

Well blogging world, it's been awhile. I realized how incredibly long it has been the other day while on the phone with my mom when she mentioned that I haven't written for awhile. I feel a little bad that this particular entry is my reintroduction to the world of blog though. Usually I have some great point to make or story to tell but at this moment I am at a loss. I wish I had something profound to call to the attention of my loyal readers, but alas all I can say is this: I love people. At this moment in particular I love my new buddies Jordan, Beth, Alena, and Bethanie. These girls are so amazing and my summer has improved exponentially since I have started spending time with them.

Also, I never realized the amount of fun available to Provo residents. This summer, some of the exciting things I have done are:
Ghost hunting
Night Hiking
Kayaking
Feeding my Taco Bell addiction
Watching scary movies in Provo Canyon at night
Sleepovers
SLC Trips
Bonfires

There is even more to come on the agenda:
Visiting a local ghost town
Geo caching
Going to the Zoo
Riding on the Heber Creeper
Fishing
Boating
The aquarium
The Alpine Slide
Relief Society Girl's Camp
John Mayer concert
Colorado road trip
Thanksgiving Point gardens
The new Batman movie
Camping
The Drive-in

I love summer.

It's All Coming Back to Me Now

Okay, I wrote this poem last night about my college experiences with Crystal Baune, Loraina Binning, Lauren Pack, Meagan Sanders, and Hannah Shirley. I think the words describe the last two years perfectly. I love you girls!

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that

It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(With tambourine) It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allowed
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever (forever)

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all you laws allow
BABY, BABY, BABY

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me...now

It's all coming back to me now
And when you kiss me like this
It's all coming back to me now
And when I touch you like that
It's all coming back to me now
If you do it like this
It's all coming back to me now
And if we . . . (imaginations go wild)

We should see if we can get this made into a song or something.

On Feminism

Last semester I was sitting in my history class when the professor began a lecture on the Feminist Movement of the mid-20th century. He began by asking the question, "How many of you believe the word 'feminist' has a negative connotation?' I watched, intrigued, as every male in the classroom raised a hand. Mine remained motionless in my lap while my mind chewed over this interesting little observation. At some point the lecture drifted to the 1968 Miss America Beauty Pageant protest where the term 'bra burning' originated. During the course of the protest, a trash can was filled with bras, high heels, corsets, curlers, etc. to symbolize a complete disassociation with traditional feminist ideals. The 400 or so women assembled discussed burning these items but were not able to obtain a permit, leaving the alleged 'instruments of torture' intact. At this point in the lecture, the boy sitting next to me said loudly, "Now if there had been a boy scout there they would have been able to get the job done." Snickers followed (from the male half of the room, I presume, as the majority of females present were likely Girls Camp graduates, well versed in the art of campfire-building).

Now just to be clear, I think bra burning sounds like a really stupid idea. Physically it makes sense to wear a bra. Financially it makes sense not to burn bras (they cost about $40 a pop). One thing that does make sense though is the idea that women competing against each other to prove whose body is most appealing is fundamentally wrong (which was the way that the Miss America Pageant was going down in 1968). Especially when considering the fact that only a very small percentage of females are able to healthily attain the ideal body as depicted in the media. That however is a whole different post entirely.

If I have not already revealed myself, I would like to take this opportunity to come out as a feminist. Not as a feminist in the traditional manner of speaking, but as a feminist who believes that being feminine and completely different from men is a beautiful thing. The irony of the feminist movement is that its objective was to, in a sense, masculinize women while at the same time standing against everything men represented. Mmm I love a good paradox. I really believe that breasts, hips, maternal inclinations, soft features, sensitivity, and smelling good are not bad things! Unfortunately, these protesters got 95% of the feminist movement wrong. Interesting, isn't it?

Hair So Healthy it Shines

when I was about 8 years old I saw a commercial that changed my life. never has an advertisement company achieved its objective as perfectly as it did for me with pantene pro-v shampoo and conditioner (this is a big statement for a girl who only buys oatmeal from boxes with bob harper's face). i begged my mother for weeks to buy "pantene pro-v, for hair so healthy it shines."

finally the poor woman conceded and purchased it. that afternoon when she walked through the door from the store, i got my greedy hands on my treasure and headed straight for the shower.

sitting in front of the mirror for the next few hours, i waited for my hair to transform from mousy and flat (and greasy?) into computer-animated perfection.

it never happened.

12 years later and against the advice of every hair stylist i've ever been to (yes, i ask every. single. one), I still use pantene pro-v. according to the experts, it coats the hair follicle in wax. contrary to the speculations of my younger, more idealistic self, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind as to whether or not this is true. it just doesn't make sense that hair stylists everywhere have a secret union with the objective of putting pantene pro-v out of business (um, yes. i used to have conspiracy theories. don't judge). i know they are making little girls think their hair can look barbie-commercial perfect and are coating my hair in grease, but guess what, hair school girls! i just don't care.

i'm holding out for pantene pro-v. someday it will start working. mark my words.

until later, chicas!